I am trying to move on from what happened. My family and friends are there for me and I want to see the beauty in that but the ugliness of what happened just overwhelms me.
Every time I find out something else was taken, I get beat down, when I find out something else wasn’t taken it does not bring me up as much.
My mom offered to help me financially, I appreciate it and I think it was the love that I felt from her that was what I needed, to know she will still help me out, was such a good feeling.
I did set up an alarm system today, I feel a little better, although the feeling of safety am trying to rebuild, I think it was the busy work it created that kept my mind off of things.
In the morning I was too sad to run, but in the evening I took a shot at it and ran an untimed 1 lap and 1 walk. It was good, I may have been thinking again, pushing my head out of this depression. Maybe things will return to normal in a few (days, weeks, months?).
Yesterday I did not have a full workout but I did sneak in some pushups and situps. But I did not have a good appetite, also adrenaline absolutely kept me going. I had to drive hundreds of miles back and forth between the camp site and home plus the errands around town. I took a couple of naps when I could but my body just kept going. It did not want to stay asleep. I would stay down for 10 minutes and be back doing stuff.
At the end of the day, I think around 10 I went down, for a good, badly needed sleep. Got up at 4:30AM to keep going.
Tomorrow, I think I will just do a 2 lap. One thing I noticed while I was at camp was the plantar fasciitis kicking in.
Weight: 246.0